It Gets Better

Ever since I found out about Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” Project, I’ve been a vocal supporter. Today, I decided to join in. And honestly? This was far easier for me than talking about panic attacks. Which goes to show how much love and tolerance I’ve found in my life, and what the potential is for the lives of bi men and women everywhere to whom I can sincerely say: It gets better.

It Gets Better

And happy birthday to my mom (and my cousin Kara), who has (both of whom have) always loved me for the person I am.



Filed under Musings

7 responses to “It Gets Better

  1. Antiqua

    Ive tried so hard to become straight, Ive been trying for about a years now, but I realized its not working. Im depressed because I believe in God 100%, i believe in Heaven and the Bible and dont want to go to hell because i am gay. I know being gay is a sin but i how do i just stop being gay? And then if i do stop being gay… then what? be lonley FOREVER??? cause i am not attracted to man intamidly. not at all. I dont wanna be one lonley girl forever. cause then ill just get depressed and that may lead back to the dark side and i dont want that. Please help me!

    • Hey hon,

      Personally, I don’t think you can turn off who you’re attracted to. I also don’t believe that a God who would hang out with the people who were most reviled in society would damn someone for something they can’t control. Would you condemn someone who never hurt anyone else but happened to love someone of their same sex to eternal torment? I sure wouldn’t, and God is supposed to be even more loving than a human like me.

      Is there someone you can talk to about this? A pastor, a friend, a relative who will listen to you and not judge? Having someone to talk to is really helpful, and you might also want to talk to The Big Guy yourself. Spend some time alone and talk to Him about how you’re feeling–not asking to be changed, but just saying, Hey, this is where I am right now, is that okay? You might find that the way it makes you feel is that in 2000+ years since Leviticus, things have changed, and that you can still feel that love and spirituality while being exactly who you are now.

      I wish all the best for you.

      • Antiqua

        I saw your video on facebook, it made me smile that people are actually out there to help people like me. I wish i could talk to my family about it but that will never happen. My mom is so relegious. She would deny me… which she has already.. and i dont want that. I told my mom I was gay but she doesnt believe me… she tells me that i just need counseling. I am just so confused. Life is to extreme. I just want someone to just listen to me. But i often go unheard.

      • Yeah, feeling unheard is a very lonely thing. It looks like there might be some people for you to talk to on campus, though, and I bet they’d listen and hear you.

  2. Antiqua

    I have lived a miserable life…. from drugs, to sexual abuse…. it has been rough. I am gay. but my family is 100% Christians… being gay is not acceptable. i am so unhappy. hiding who i really am. and i am sick of it. i just want to be happy. suicidal thoughts fill my head on a daily basis because i am so unhappy. do you really think it gets better?

    • I do. I’m so, so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. I can promise you that there are places where being gay is not a problem or an issue, and people who will love and support you. Does your college have a counseling service? Is there an LGBT group on campus with a leader you could talk to? You don’t have to join, but I bet that once you connect with someone in your community you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

      I had a friend who was Mormon and a lesbian, and who struggled for years with telling her family. She did, and at first it was rough, but she’s now happily with a partner and reconciled with her family. Your family might surprise you, and if not, there are people out there who can and will become a second family to you.

      • It looks like you can talk to Dr. Victor Evans on your campus–there’s a group called The Alliance and I bet he would listen to you or be able to help you find someone else to talk to. His email address is and phone extension is x2018.

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