A Word To Would-Be Masseuses

Masseurs? Masseeses? Regardless.

Please, for the love of all that is good in the world: Push harder.

I promise you, if I’m not wincing at least a little, it’s not hard enough.

I had a haircut at the Aveda Institute last night, and they do a whole scalp-and-neck-and-shoulders treatment and massage before they wash your hair. It’s something I very much enjoy about Aveda. But my hair stylist, who was very nice and did a great job, had the weakest grip I have ever experienced. The massage was more like someone lightly brushing leaves off my head and back than anything that would relieve any tension. In fact, it made me more tense because I was fully aware of how strange and awkward it was for this woman to be touching me and expecting it to have an effect on my stress level. Not that I blame or begrudge her–it’s not like I feel entitled to awesome massages at every turn, and some people’s hands aren’t as strong as others’. That’s fine.

I just need you. gentle reader, to know, if you’re trying to give a good massage in the future: Push harder.

And if you need someone to practice on, my shoulders have more knots than a California Redwood.


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